A short time ago, in a land not far from this place, a tale was told of a group of magical beings who possessed powers almost beyond human comprehension. These creatures, though said it was that they were diminutive in stature, could command great forces within man so as to render him weak and completely under their spell. Such were their powers that all manner of persons sought to trap them and make of them their own so they could harness this power, little knowing that for all that might try, the only fate that could lie ahead was slavery to the beasts.
And so our Tiny Tale begins, as our intrepid adventurer, the BHV, on hearing that these mighty magi had set up residence in a cave in a neighbouring land, decided to track them down and, quite frankly, see what all the fuss was about.
So the BHV packed up some provisions into a duffel bag, pulled on his best walking boots, grabbed his magic picture box and set off on his trek. After a time he came to the border. At the border was a gate through which the BHV knew he must pass. But he also knew that somewhere nearby lurked the guardian of this exit, a beast as black as night and as vicious as a snake with an elephant on its tail. The BHV stepped up to the gate and reached out a hand, but at that moment a huge dark shape slipped from the shadows causing him to recoil.
"Who approaches my gate?" the creature demanded.
"'Tis I, the BHV" the BHV replied.
"And why do you dare to approach my gate?" the creature asked.
"I seek the little ones whose powers, it is told, know no bounds. I have heard they have been spotted in the land on the other side."
"Ha! A fool's errand you follow! But no matter. If passage through my gate you seek, a challenge you must complete. If you succeed in this challenge, you may pass through. But be warned - if you fail, I shall eat you for my dinner!"
The BHV shuddered. He did not want to be eaten for anyone's dinner, let alone this nasty creature. But still, he couldn't quit now.
"What is your challenge, oh mighty and majestic being?" he asked, for flattery can often get you through the trickiest situation.
"If you wish to pass, you must take your right hand and with it stroke my head three times. If you can do so without showing a moments fear, I shall allow you to continue on your way unharmed. However, for every moment of fear I see in your eyes I shall strike you with my 'mighty and majestic' paw, and if my 'mighty and majestic' claws draw blood, you have lost my challenge and I shall eat you."
Yikes, thought the BHV. But he put on a brave face and exclaimed "I accept!"
At once the creature lowered its head. "Proceed" it said.
So the BHV put forth his hand and began to stroke the creature.
After the first stroke, the creature became completely still. After the second, to the surprise of the BHV, the creature began to purr. But as he stroked for the third time, the creature shot out a paw with a mighty swipe!
And you may, dear reader, have expected our tale to end there, but thankfully it was the turn of the creature to be surprised. For the BHV was expecting the devious attack and dodged it with some ease.
"You have impressed me with your speed and courage" said the beast. "This time, I will let you pass. However, if I should see you here abouts again, bring snacks. Or expect to be one."
The BHV passed through the gate, left the beast behind and made his way down the road that led to the land of Office. This road was to some a dangerous place, but in the land of Rescue the BHV had gained the rank of "Chief Volunteer" and as such earned the right to walk the path unchallenged.
When he arrived at the land of Office, the BHV found another gate. He passed through this gate without incident, but as he closed it behind him and turned to face the way ahead, he found it was blocked. For standing before the BHV was a huge orange giant, with huge orange ears and the most disapproving look he had ever seen.
"Who are you that dares to pass through my gate?" the giant roared.
"I am the BHV" replied the BHV and, pre-empting the inevitable follow up question, added "I have come seeking the Little Ones, those said to have great power over man".
"Fool!" cried the giant.
"But a fool up to a challenge!" replied the BHV quickly, for he could see where this was going.
"Challenge, eh?" retorted the giant. "Well a challenge I have for you. First, you must take your right hand and with it stroke my head three times."
"I see," replied the BHV confidently, "And if I show fear you will swipe me and eat me for your dinner?"
"No, silly human! THEN you shall stroke me three more times, maybe a few times behind the ears and THEN I shall nap and you can do what you jolly well please!"
The BHV was taken aback by this, but happily obliged and as the giant began to snore went on his way.
Almost immediately, the BHV came across a small cage. Knowing for sure he had found what he had set out to find, the BHV opened the door and peered inside.
And do you know, dear readers, what he saw in that cage? What manner of creature it was that could bend a persons will to do its bidding with just a look?
Tiny. Babeh. Bunnehs.
Let us just say that, having set eyes on those tiny little faces, it was a long time before the BHV was seen outside of the land of Office ...
