"I know I could reach that tub before the slow old human, but would I get the lid off and the snacks out in time? Oh wait, I forgot how dumb they are..."
"HEY YOU! THERE'S AN ATTRACTIVE HUMAN BEHIND YOU, OF AN APPROPRIATE GENDER FOR YOUR ROMANTIC TASTES, WITH THEIR SHIRT OFF!"
"Ha ha ha, what a fool, there is no such thing as an attractive human! Right, time for some snacks..."