"Those pesky birds are making a play for the garden. We're going to show them they've messed with the wrong bun. This means war."
"While you lead the assault in the garden, I will be giving orders from right here in the command centre. Try not to get too pecked, but if it gets too hairy out there just remember this advice - you'll need to be back here at 6pm in one piece to make my dinner. Good luck human."